Of Syrah and Oatmeal: THE STORYTELLER (1.13)

🧙‍♂️ A good story can be a powerful thing—it can rally us around a shared cause, give us hope, or even vanquish our fears. But of course, a story is nothing if it’s not told well. In this tale of monsters and myth-making, the medium is the message. “The Storyteller” serves up two charming stories, which both play like Bajoran folktales: while Bashir and O’Brien unwittingly reenact Rudyard Kipling’s “The Man Who Would Be King” in an isolated village, Jake and Nog go…beyond the pail to impress a visiting diplomat. We draw on “monster theory” to decode the metaphors at play, taking detours along the way to appreciate great robe game and, yes, ponder Lord of the Rings copyright infringement.

🍷 Wine pairing: 2021 Syrah from Swinney

❤️ Talk to us: Instagram @deepspacewine_podcast | Facebook @Deep Space Wine

Chapters

• 0:03 Intro
• 13:21 Wine pairing
• 19:02 Episode recap
• 1:04:44 Fashion Watch! And other, less important final thoughts

Transcript

Of Syrah and Oatmeal: The Storyteller (1.13)

[00:00:00] Hey, everyone. Cole here. Keep a lookout for a bonus episode with an exclusive interview with one of the major creative forces of the storyteller coming very soon. Welcome back to Deep Space Wine. I am Cole Paulson. 

Lily: And I'm Lily Rossen. 

Cole: And this is the podcast that attempts to recap and decode every episode of Deep Space Nine, the forgotten stepchild of the Star Trek universe.

Each episode, we'll share a bottle of wine, wind down, and then wind ourselves up again with our strong opinions about DS9. Because in our social experience, there is truly nothing people love more than when someone talks at length about Star Trek or wine. 

Lily: Or, the Syrah. 

Cole: this episode was made for us, wasn't it?

Lily: It's so it just falls into the lap. 

Cole: going to be drinking Syrah? 

Lily: look, I don't want to spoil it, [00:01:00] so 

Cole: Sorry, we got a, we got a double whammy of Bajoran Tales, our favorite alien race. 

Lily: Can I just say, loved it? 

me too! it's like the first fun Bajoran episode, and maybe the last? Not sure. 

Cole: yeah, that one time the Bajorans knew how to be fun. 

Lily: It was fun, it was a romp, there were themes, 

Cole: I thought there was a, very myth like quality to both of the stories. It's like these ancient tales that have maybe been passed down through generations.

Lily: Yeah, And they're both, 

Cole: interestingly, I don't even think there was an A story or a B story. There's these two parallel stories and they're both about the same themes. They're both young successors anxious about if they're worthy enough to step into the shoes of their predecessors, right? Um, and they're both sort of Bajoran cultures who are way off in the sticks, far from the capital with their like weird traditions and stuff.

Lily: I love it. It's so homegrown. It's like, yes, this is what Bajoran culture is. It's not just one space Karen and [00:02:00] Kira, sexy, unsexy Vedek. 

he's kind of sexy anyway. More about that later. there's also 

Yokels being yokels. 

She said on her podcast about wine. 

Cole: You're such a coastal elite. 

Lily: Coastal elite, yeah, Look, I am from somewhere that is described as the butt end of the earth, so I'm one to talk.

Cole: Who says that? Is that just people from Sydney? 

Lily: Yeah, haven't even been to They haven't. what someone from Perth would say, Cole. 

Cole: so all right, fun facts. Fun 

fun facts about the Storyteller. It was originally pitched for the next generation, basic gist of it, and it just sat around for three years and it was just never the right time. 

Lily: Can I just say, I also read about this I read about it after I watched the episode and the whole time I was watching the episode, I was like, this is a Picard story.

This is not like Sisko's wheelhouse. Like Picard this would have been his delicious, loved it. But Sisko is just like, Oh God, [00:03:00] mediating. Oh 

Cole: It's so true. Picard is a diplomat, isn't he? And he would have had wise things to say to these warring factions 

Lily: oh, but Sisko has an in with children and teenagers in a way that Picard doesn't. Picard would have been very awkward about that. 

Cole: yeah, that's a good call. And I don't, did you read if the space station plot was part of the original pitch?

I just know that the storyteller one was. Yeah, apparently, it sat around for three years and then were getting desperate for stories and they're like, well, we've got this one sitting in the closet. and that's how this happened. it was also inspired by.

Rudyard Kipling's short story, The Man Who Would Be King. and words were, Rudyard Kipling, a troubling time in the literary canon. God bless your sister. I think colonialism is, it's important to talk about 

It's here. We talked about DS9 being about colonialism. 

Lily: and this is sort of a post colonial tale. post, Cardassians 

Cole: so I read the short story. [00:04:00] actually, I would recommend it.

It's a very fast read. And he is, uh, he's good with prose, Mr. Kipling. So just, really quickly. it's a wild ride. These two British grifters, they used to be in the British army 

they decide they want to be kings of something. And so they, head into Afghanistan, like remote mountainous Afghanistan with some guns, walk in guns blazing, terrify everyone, and within weeks they are kings of this mini empire because everyone's just terrified of them. They're convinced everyone thinks they're gods.

It's just, they're convinced Oh, everyone thinks we're gods. it's not really clear if the locals think they're gods or demons, which is obviously a little more likely. and everything is going smoothly until, for Kipling, this is refreshing.

the short story is rife with just, Horrific racism like literally comparing people's intelligence to their skin tone yeah, but then it all goes wrong for these two guys when one of them wants to take a wife In the local community and everyone says no, please. No, and he insists. He's like, well, i'm the king and this poor local woman is terrified and she's [00:05:00] dragged to the wedding screaming and when he tries to kiss her at the altar she bites him and when this white man starts bleeding the locals see that he's actually not a god or a demon he's just human they're like well then screw this human guy and he is dead he is like crucified literally within hours great yeah so great it's a nice good riddance tale 

Lily: so that is 

So that is not, 

Cole: Exactly what happened to, Bashir and O'Brien.

are some key differences. There's a bit of feet of 

Lily: clay, but What 

Cole: does that mean? 

Lily: Um, when your heroes, because your heroes are supposed to be made of marble, are they? Or like, they're god like, and so if they have feet of clay. it like crumbles, 

Cole: Okay, there is a link to these two, you know, white men outsiders who the locals see as deities, but then the jig is up and they're seen as just mortals, 

Lily: Yeah. 

Cole: but because this is a nice Star Trek episode. No spoilers, but Bashir and O'Brien do escape with their lives. 

Lily: Yes. Weirdly, None of the [00:06:00] main characters die 

Cole: But it is, it is interesting thinking about, these guys as sort of neo colonialists coming in, thinking they've got their solutions and then being given way too much credit.

 it's interesting to see in that lens, whether the original writers saw it that way or not. All 

Lily: right, Rudyard Kipling. I mean, I feel like that's not really how it usually went. 

Cole: it was like a slightly enlightened ending to a very problematic story. I guess the other big thing about The Storyteller is this is the, debut of Ira Steven Behr's favorite relationship on the entire show, favorite best friends club.

so begins Bashir and O'Brien. I know you've got some, uh, other opinions about that. 

Lily: Yeah. So I wrote, this episode, a land dispute in Bajor, mediation, and also the writers forcing the Bashir O'Brien friendship on us. 

Cole: Do they have chemistry? A topic we will be discussing throughout this episode. Yeah, a topic we'll 

Lily: discuss. Okay, can I briefly talk about something I would like to talk about in this episode? Please 

Cole: do. 

Lily: Okay. So, I have a topic, and I have a couple of questions that I thought we could think about 

so [00:07:00] I was reading, what the creators had to say about this episode. And one of them talked about how the idea surrounding it is that we create our own monsters and ain't that the truth. but I want to discuss something which is called monster theory in literary criticism. 

Cole: Ooh, I'm ready.

Lily: I'm not familiar. Yeah, literary criticism. You know, my Nana was a high school English teacher and she hates literary criticism. She's like, Feminism. Socialism? Monster theory? What is that? Anyway, she's 92, she's allowed. Um, I love literary criticism. That's what I learned at university. yeah, so Monster theory within literature and folklore it's an idea that's been around for a long time, the idea of monsters within society.

I guess in literature there's, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein the first book that you can think of that, delves into this. and I have an excerpt from an essay, called Explorations in Monstrosity. and this is written by Sybil Earle and Helen Hendry.

so they say, The use of monster as [00:08:00] metaphor enables the interrogation of social or intellectual problems. Monsters embody fear or excitement and monstrosity represents amoral or uncontrolled behaviour. All is channeled into emotional expression through language and in particular through metaphor. 

Cole: yeah, I mean, so I've got a nerd boner. I was trying to think of a term than that. You 

Lily: might. 

what's a PG way of saying nerd boner? 

Cole: Nerd boner is 

Lily: great. No, no, no, keep it in. Great. 

Cole: yes, I took course at university about, sci fi film analysis and monster theory. It must've come up because there's so many sci fi monsters that are of course metaphors. I mean, Isn't Buffy basically the metaphorical monster of the week show?

yeah. am I getting monster theory right? 

Lily: I guess the idea is that all monsters in, fiction are metaphors for the ills of society, So Godzilla was 

Cole: the nuclear bomb. 

Lily: Yeah. So whatever's [00:09:00] happening socially at the time, becomes embodied by some kind of monster that we create.

But I guess. As well, if you look into the deeper psyche, say, of Frankenstein, the monster he creates is, filled with hatred and misandry but also like a wonder and a childlike wonder. So it's like the things within Frankenstein, are perpetuated by the monster that he creates, like he is the monster.

Cole: What did Frankenstein's monster represent? 

Lily: I guess the enlightenment is one of the big things that was happening.

 So the future, fears of the future as well. Okay, yeah, fear 

Cole: of technological progress. Being at 

Lily: the forefront. Yeah, exactly, like surgery, that was kind of a huge thing that hadn't existed before. yeah, it's a whole plethora of anxieties, encapsulated in this creature. 

Cole: How about King Kong?

was that a fear of 

Lily: Uh, colonialism. Racism. Yeah, actually, I just gonna say, 

Cole: was it of racism? but this is an interesting case because, as you said, the motivation for this was sometimes we make our own monsters [00:10:00] to was the quote?

sometimes we create our own monsters so that we can defeat them. and feel secure about our power. I think, yeah, Michael Piller said that. 

Lily: Yeah. 

Cole: I'm just thinking out loud here. Frankenstein is a monster that we created ourselves. and maybe a lot of monsters in literature are monsters.

self made or man made. but I wonder how many of them like in this story are something intentionally to fear. 

Lily: Yeah. That's an interesting question. And I guess there's a parallel with the, the land dispute. as well. 

Cole: Well, I had this sort of aha moment on my second viewing. I decided the parallel to our modern society, you could argue that, Fox News is a monster of our own creation.

Lily: Yeah. 

Cole: And I've got more on that later. 

Lily: Oh god, but I feel like their monster is actually used for good. It's like, what's that, graphic novel, about the superheroes, and then one of them like creates world destruction

watchman. 

so creates this social calamity, I think in the film, it's a nuclear blast, but in the actual graphic novel, it's like [00:11:00] giant squids come and like kill everyone. and then people band together to like, become a unified earth to protect each other.

Cole: But see, Lily, this is actually a very conservative story because trying to get a community to band together. because of external fears is populism and fascism. And this story is, I think it's just populism on a microscale. 

Lily: I guess this is a very conservative 

Cole: community, 

Lily: but the other within this story is an amorphous emotionless.

being it sort of represents nothing. It represents no other culture, no other person, no minority. It's just big, scary cloud. 

Cole: True. 

Lily: Agree with you. it is a conservative tale, some might say parochial culture, but, no one's really being harmed.

There's no hatred towards others. 

Cole: You're not scapegoating an external group. You're inventing an external threat. That's what I was trying 

Lily: to say. Thank you. Thank you for paraphrasing. 

Cole: No, I think, I think it's a great point, but then maybe we'll discuss at the end of the episode. yeah. How much does this [00:12:00] Dell rock really need to exist?

Lily: yeah. And are the people, 

Cole: yeah. Are these people really getting what they deserve from their community leaders? 

Lily: Wow. 

Cole: And is this, , is this all just a myth? Is the whole story a myth? Not just the, you know, think there's something, sorry, we're really getting ahead of ourselves, but this Dalrok is this mythical beast.

And then the whole story about defeating it has a mythical quality. And so, I think part of this is about the value of storytelling in society and in myth making and what the power of story does for a community, right? 

Lily: think folklore as well, the power of and the importance of folklore within culture.

Cole: Yes. 

Lily: Particularly in the past, probably not now because we ruined everything. 

Cole: We still have folklore. Social media 

Lily: and other things. 

Cole: the Avengers our folklore now? I don't know. 

Lily: Oh, please don't make me sad. 

Cole: proud of it. 

Lily: okay. So my two questions to ponder over this episode,

Who is the monster? 

Obviously, other than [00:13:00] Julian.

Definitely Julian.

you know, what is the monster? okay. My second question. Who is the storyteller? 

Cole: Snaps into the mic. 

Lily: klon peegs, not here. 

Cole: We need those klon peegs. I need 

Lily: to have them ready at all times. 

Our teasers go for so long. all right. Should I get to what we're drinking 

Cole: yeah. Bring it on.

Lily: What are we drinking? Is it Gamzee and wine? Is it a green colored spirit called a star drifter? 

No, it's the Syrah. Yes, the Syrah. 

Cole: I 

Lily: mean, 

Cole: it had 

Lily: to had to be. So the Syrah I picked, this is a story about small town local dramas.

So I've picked something from a small town nearby me, called Franklin River, which is in the Great Southern region in WA. so this is the 

Cole: 2021 Syrah. So it's the raw 

Lily: from a from a producer called Swinney.

 This is from the producer's website and this is great. This is a great bit of [00:14:00] copy. And I read it and I was like, Oh, it's good. It's good. It's good. this is about, Swinney wines. George John Alexander Swinney was a pioneer of the Franklin River region guided by the Swinney family motto, Quo fata vocant, wither the fates call. 

in the English, George settled at Franklins in 1922. Located on the banks of the Franklin river, the property features gently undulating hills dominated by Jarrah and red gum trees growing upon ironstone gravel and loam soils. This is where our story begins. 

Cole: Oh, stop. That doesn't say that.

Lily: It does. Go to the website. How good is that? The wine's the 

Cole: storyteller! The seer is telling a story! ha ha! Um, what does wither mean? 

Lily: I've Googled it. 

to witch, with reference to a place. For example, wither are we bound? Right. Okay. . example for, to which with reference to a place. [00:15:00] The barbecue had been set up by the lake, whither Matthew and Sarah were conducted.

Just an archaic term, Matthew and Sarah. There's a 

Cole: sentence that has literally never been uttered. 

Lily: Never. Someone had fun on that, 

Cole: Google dictionary. So what did the, wine label say again? 

Lily: so no, this is their motto, the Swinney family motto. Quo fata vocant, whither the fates call. 

Cole: wow.

is that not a bit, what word am I looking for? I'm sorry. Manifest destiny. Sure, I was going to say overwrought for a winemaker, but also perfect for this episode. to. I feel like 

Lily: learned nothing about wine and winemakers and wineriders. 

Cole: Yeah, all right. Oh man. You're such a hater. It's just wine, guys. Look, I love wine, but it's wine. 

Lily: What did you just say? It's just wine. god, Cole. I don't care for anti intellectualism, and I hope you know [00:16:00] that. gives me the opposite of a nerd boner, by the way. 

nerd shrinker. All right. so yes, Australian wineries 1922, is actually pretty old. cause you know, we're in a new country. So, this is paraphrasing from a journalist, Ray Jordan, from the West Australian, and he talks about the winemaker Rob Mann, who's from Swinney, the winery, and says that he's redefined Syrah and Grenache, and created some established benchmarks for contemporary Australian wine. So This is just a very good wine.

 Very good for the price if you ever come across it. And then I'll just do two wine notes and then I think we should get to the episode.

so this is from Ken Gargett from Wine Pilot. Deep blood red and maroon in color. We have notes of black fruits, chocolate, animal hides, earth, leather, and florals. A supple texture and there is immaculate balance at every turn. Bright acidity runs the full journey and helps to drive the palate.

Cole: Hmm, I mean, you know, I'm gonna ask about animal hides. What are [00:17:00] notes of animal hide? 

Lily: well, I guess it's the same as leather in a way. 

Cole: Okay. Yep. Do you smell the leather? 

Lily: I do. Yeah I think they suggest that you age this for like 10 years, 

and the more it ages, the more that stuff will develop the leather, spices and things like that. and then also this is from Campbell from Winefront. Beautiful red, composed, flush with buried fruit, peppery, ferrous, smoky, and, simply delicious. It's all set on tight strings of tannin, but the succulence of the fruit keeps the momentum high.

So there you go. That's a wrap. 

Cole: That was written by an English major for sure. 

Lily: Yeah, it's good, isn't it? I tight strings of tannin. 

Cole: Do you reckon all these people have like unpublished poetry books, but this is how they pay for the roof over their heads? 

Lily: Maybe. But I think when you're describing, ephemeral things.

And you're describing senses, you have to be poetic, how do you describe I 

Cole: ain't complaining, I love it. How do you 

Lily: describe something beautiful? I thought you might ask about ferrous. 

Cole: [00:18:00] My guess is iron like? 

Lily: Yeah, 

Yes, 

I studied high school chemistry. 

Lily: anyway, Syrah, should we drink it? 

Cole: yeah, 

Can you give me some of that? let's do it. Cheers. 

Lily: Cheers. 

Cole: Mmm. Ferris. It's like I'm walking through an ironsmith's workshop. The animal hide rotting in the corner. No, it's delicious. Mmm. It's delicious. 

Um, so drinking game. Every time the show mentions Syrah, we drink.

Lily: Oh my god, we're gonna be wasted. and for people who have never seen this episode before, we've just been rambling about the Syrah and you'll get to learn what that is. 

Cole: we're not just rambling drunk about Syrah yet. 

Lily: Yet. but also kind of. 

Cole: How much pre drinking did you do this time? 

Lily: a great deal, but I'm feeling good.

I'm feeling myself. 

Cole: Great. Yeah. 

well, should we tell the story? [00:19:00] Great. Let's So, the storyteller, Sisko is hosting negotiations on the station between two rival Bajoran factions who are in a heated land dispute. That might just trigger a civil war unless Sisko sorts this out. meanwhile, the chief is running up to Sisko in ops. begging him to get out of this mission he's been assigned to on Bajor.

why is he trying to get out of this mission? Well, we, uh, soon find out when Bashir pops in with his cute little med kit that I know you like, Lily. Uh, and he's so excited for some bonding time with O'Brien because the two of them are off to this little Bajoran village where there's an apparent medical emergency brewing that might spell the community's extinction. 

Lily: It's Gossip Chief getting 

Cole: bitchy. 

Lily: I love this scene. 

it's like, no, no, don't be assertive, Miles. Have a little bitchy try get out of it. instead of just telling Julian you don't like him. It's 

Cole: great. Yeah. I wrote in my notes, O'Brien being a messy [00:20:00] bitch. 

Lily: he's so messy.

Jeez. 

Cole: Yeah. Sisko is having none of it though. He's like, look, I had to put up with this dude last week. I thought I was going to be trapped. I thought I was gonna be trapped in eternal hell with this guy last week. It's your turn, buddy. 

Lily: Oh, it was great. so you've got no time for it. And there's so much eye rolling.

Oh my gosh. Amazing. 

Cole: Side eye. The O'Brien messy side eye is next level. 

but 

Lily: Bashir is so excited to bond, isn't that cute? And he just has no understanding of the social dynamics. he's just like, I'm still looking forward to getting to know you. like, just like, Stank eyeing at no one in particular and it's kind of like a pre the office fourth wall break this whole beginning of this episode because he's like mugging at someone It's like he really is looking at us telling us.

Can you believe this guy? 

Cole: That's such a good call there's a shot later. That is basically an office. What do they call it talking head? Yeah, that's a great call. so, Sisko and Kira are heading [00:21:00] down to the docking bay to, welcome these factions.

On the way, Kira tries to warn Sisko about how tricky these negotiations might be. She says, uh, Sir, there's an old saying in Bajor, the land and the people are one, and the land inhabited by these factions, the Paku and the Navat, is some of the harshest Sisko's like, look, relax, this is not my first time up to the plate.

Kira's like, what the hell plate are you talking about? 

Lily: Yeah, yeah, baseball idioms on alien cultures. Come on Kira, there are some context clues. you're a smart woman. 

Cole: the themes of this episode around neocolonialism right there with the baseball 

Lily: reference.

So true, oh my god. I also love in this because like apparently they haven't planned this mediation, they're just like planning it in the lift on the way there. Yeah, he's getting 

Cole: briefed on cultures like right now. Seconds right now 

Lily: before we meet them at the airlock, but he's like, you know, it'd be great.

We're going to have an icebreaker. Let's do an icebreaker. 

Cole: They'll love that. We'll just 

Lily: like have a meet and greet and do an icebreaker. [00:22:00] hate icebreakers. God, they suck. 

Cole: Oh God, I love icebreakers.

Lily: All right. I actually came up with an icebreaker. 

Cole: Oh, tell me everything. 

Lily: It's a really easy one. And it's one I've already thought about the answer and that's why it's not stressful for me. 

Cole: Go on. 

Lily: All right. Cole, if you could be a bird, what bird would you be and why? 

Cole: Okay, if I could be a bird, okay, I would be a penguin because I already, I already naturally sort of waddle back and forth. So that wouldn't be a hard transition. I like, sledding with my friends and I I look good in a tux. 

Lily: Wow. 

Cole: I did not see that choice coming. Penguins have little sledding parties.

They just like belly flop. Look, I was under pressure, okay? I hate icebreakers, there's so much pressure. Yes, they're the worst, 

Lily: thank you! Alright, let me tell you what I am.

Cole: Okay. 

Lily: I'm a crow, or a raven. Let me tell you why. Okay. They're smart, resourceful, and they have shiny [00:23:00] dark hair. 

Cole: I'm also terrified of them. Australian ravens are like They also call 

Lily: them grudges. 

Cole: They're like the size of a chicken and they fly and they hate you. 

Lily: Uh, no, they don't hate you, but they remember you if you cross them. So let that be known. All 

Cole: right. I'm really proud of my answer. I'm a penguin, everyone.

That's what you need to know about Lillian Cole. Cole is a belly 

Lily: flopping flightless bird who admittedly does look very cute in a tux and I am someone you need to watch out for. 

Cole: Well, now that we've, established that. We've broken the my gosh, there's a very cute video of a penguin breaking the ice and falling in Oh, adorable penguins. So cute. Okay, so, Kira and Worst Boss arrive at docking bay just in time to greet the head of the Paku, The Tetrarch of the Paku is revealed to be a girl, a teenage girl. 

Lily: Whoa. Oh my god.

And Sisko and Kira [00:24:00] do a humorous double take at each other. It's 

Cole: so over the top. They're like, what? Dramatic music plays. 

Lily: Oh my gosh! Is she on her period? What's she gonna do? And she's wearing like a militant grey outfit. And when I watched this for the first time, I was like, Ooh, I wonder if this outfit will change over the episode.

it does. She's a great character.

Cole: She is. 

Lily: So that's the teaser. And that's 

Cole: it. 

 So. After the opening credits, we find ourselves in a runabout with O'Brien and Bashir on their way to Bajor. this entire scene is one shot. It's this extreme close up of O'Brien's face as he tolerates Bashir.

He is so good. He so good. 

Yeah, it's a nice directorial touch. Here's the little film 

Cole: theory 101 like the longer the shot, the more real it seems. They call it the integrity of the filmic reality. And they are forcing us to sit with O'Brien's discomfort and awkwardness for this whole long [00:25:00] scene because just like O'Brien cannot get off the runabout.

We cannot escape the shot. . 

Lily: That's an amazing reading. And. It was funny. I was watching it and it felt like watching Fawlty Towers, like, you know, one of those really long scenes where a character is so uncomfortable and you just have to sit and watch it and it's so cringe just that cringe social comedy.

Cole: It's The Office. , Bashir breaks an awkward silence that has apparently lasted two hours already. He says, do I annoy you? 

Like a woman in a 90s sitcom. 

Cole: O'Brien artfully dodges the question saying that he's just been busy thinking about running a level one diagnostic on the phase coil generators. I mean, get your head out of the gutter, Miles. Yeah. Then Bashir says, Hey, you know, you don't need to call me, sir. Which I actually feel is the biggest power move.

He's like, Hey, I am your superior. And so I'm going to like, tell you what to call me. [00:26:00] Yeah. 

Lily: it is a dick move. Like it is such a 

Cole: dick move. 

Lily: And then O'Brien asks, is that an order? So good.

Lily: There's so much eyebrow raising, eye rolling, exasperated sighing. 

Cole: So thankfully for O'Brien, , they arrive in orbit of Bajor and they beam down to this village that looks like it's in the tropics somewhere around the equator. things seem to look perfectly fine. We're not seeing any medical emergency. but then this dude, Feren'Kog, runs up, um, In the history of bad Bajor names, that one is, yeah, it's so bad, it's good.

Feren'Kog is the village magistrate, and he's like, You're just in time! Come quickly! 

Lily: And it's like, all right, Ferencog, but look at that out bit. You know, what's happening in it? There's latex. Is it one piece or two pieces? parts of it are latex.

There's suspenders. There's a plunging neckline. It's purple and spangly. Like is clearly the guy in charge. 

Cole: His suspenders are latex? 

Lily: No, there's like a belt that's latex. The suspenders are just suspenders. 

. Huh. Okay. So then , he [00:27:00] rushes them into this he little house. Sorry, whatcha giggling? At ? 

Lily: Just me talking about latex. 

Cole: go on . He rushes them up to this little house. Where an elderly man is looking a little worse for wear and he says you must help him if he dies We all die Cut back to the station where the icebreaker is underway the leader of the Novots is some, old guy who's enjoying some tasty, replicated, larish pie. 

Yeah, what is Larish? 

Cole: Hmm, we'll never know. It looks sort of like an arancino, little like fried rice ball, maybe? 

Lily: Sure. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he loves icebreakers, this guy. 

Cole: like me, he's having a great time.

But our teenage tetrarch Varis Sul is not here to eat. She ain't got time for this flarish pie. so Sisko lays out central conflict, which is there's always been this treaty between the two people that a river defines the common border between the two peoples. But Cardassian mining operations have diverted the [00:28:00] river.

So it's now 20 kilometers west of where it used to be. So does that change the border between the two groups or not? We got a conundrum. We sure do. And dude enjoying Lara's pie says, If your father was alive, he would give us back what is ours. And, Varys is like, I will not betray my people. that's when, Quark comes in, breaks the tension and hands out drinks for everyone.

 he hands out some wine and beers and then he offers a Trixian bubble juice to the little lady. 

Lily: To the little lady. Wow. 

Cole: Between you and me, I would love a Trixian bubble juice. Would you? It sounds delicious. 

Lily: No, I'll take the Gamzian one, thanks. 

Cole: It just, kind of sounds bubblegum flavored maybe, but I think it has some effervescence that I'd be into.

Lily: Oh, okay, sure. alright. But 

Cole: Varys does not enjoy being called a little lady, throws the drink in his face, and storms off. Cork ruins the icebreaker clearly. 

Lily: Yeah. but he gets a good line. 

Cole: Still charging him for that drink.

Lily: Um, we gonna talk about these [00:29:00] extras in this next scene? 

Cole: Oh, you know, we are. Okay. So cut to Jake inaugurate, Jette dangling their little fetes over the promenade having chats. And the coolest aliens we've seen yet are walking by below. Lily, give me your take. 

Lily: Okay, so I can't remember what that race is from Star Wars, but you know, they've got the little slug on the back of their head.

Cole: It's a Star Wars, uh, homage slash ripoff. 

Lily: Sure, it definitely is. so it's like a, fleshy tail on the back of their head and also face ridges going from like all the way over the face all the way down the tail and it kind of looks like an accordion. So good. And they are also sporting, an outfit that is purple and spangly and I approve.

Cole: Mmm. Mmm. No, they look great. And you don't even realize that some of those ridges are their mouth, like their mouth just emerges from their ridges. It's great makeup. It's great. but Nog does not appreciate these people and he thinks it's hilarious to throw some little like rock on them because I don't know, he's bored and he's a, he's a miscreant. 

those, those loitering teenagers. Jake's like, well, instead of throwing [00:30:00] rocks at strangers, let's play some baseball. but Nog much like Kira is really sick of hearing about baseball. yeah. He's like, Hew-mons stopped playing this sport hundreds of years ago, like, gotcha there, Jakey.

It's true. And then Odo looms over them to remind them no dangling over the promenade. and then, like any good delinquent, Nog stands up, but then immediately sits back down as soon as Odo walks away. and Jake follows suit. a bad influence, but a great influence. But then suddenly Noie is the most beautiful girl walking around the corner that he's ever seen in his life.

And who is it? Yeah, Why it's Varis Sul the Tetrarch of the Paku people. 

Lily: Mm 

And she is a beautiful little lady. . . 

Cole: I can say that. She's a babe. Can I say that? Dammit. so no, I get sets aside on introducing himself to her. 

Lily: Yeah, it's a great setup. 

Cole: this episode is so much fun, isn't it? 

Lily: Every part of They do a 

Cole: lot, with Jake and Nog.

They're really becoming like the B plot heroes of this show. 

Lily: And I [00:31:00] feel fond of them, especially in this era in their lives. 

Cole: Ah, simpler times. 

Lily: It is. 

Cole: So, back down on Bajor, this elderly, sickly man awakens with a start. His assistant, Hovath, rushes over. by the way, Hovath is just screaming, like writing poetry about blowing up the high school energy.

He's got like that Christian Slater, 

Lily: like this guy, 

Cole: dark. 

Lily: He's got an intensity, that's for sure. 

For someone that wears so much orange. 

Cole: He rushes over this guy who he works for and says, There's still two more hours before nightfall. Bashir is trying to help the guy and the old man's like, No, no, not you. I haven't been waiting for you. Bring me your companion. What? And, Bashir drags O'Brien over and this old man nods approvingly and says, ah, I knew the prophets would not fail 

Lily: us.

Yeah. 

Cole: Cut to everyone's confused faces. Julian 

Lily: pipped again and Miles is the hero, reluctant hero once again. 

Cole: Yeah. Part of this is just. [00:32:00] Bashir being knocked down to size, but then I suppose more on that later. So then, O'Brien and Bashir don't know what to make of this.

They find our latex sporting magistrate, and Bashir's like, look, I don't know what to tell you. , this guy's just dying of old age. and but you don't get it, , the Dalarak will be here soon. This terrible creature, I mean, apparently Lord of the Rings wasn't mainstream enough back in 93, so they could just, you know.

Blatantly steal the name of a monster. More 

Lily: on that later. 

Cole: the Dalarok is supposedly some terrible creature that emerges from the woods every year. He comes for five nights and tonight will be the fourth and only the Syrah drink. Is strong enough to defeat it, . And if he can't get outta bed, then we're all screwed.

 so yikes. it's a 

Lily: calamity that's official , 

Cole: but, cut back from this. high stakes, moment to Nog and Jake back on the station. They have , kind of creepily tracked down Varis Sol's guest quarters and, they are now [00:33:00] outside her quarters, squabbling about who's going to ring the bell.

Lily: Just some run of the mill teenage stalking. It's fine. 

Cole: Okay, but honestly, this moment arguing about who's going to ring the doorbell really brought me back to my teen years. I swear I've had this fight before. like arriving at some girl's house with my best friend. It's real. But the door flies open and this teenage girl is so unimpressed. I do love this. Nog's like, my name's Jog. I mean, Jake. Oh, 

Lily: it's so sweet. I love this scene. 

Cole: so then they, call themselves the unofficial welcoming committee and they invite her to go see some ships coming in through the wormhole.

And as a shock to absolutely everyone, she accepts their invitation. Maybe just cause she's bored. Maybe cause it's finally people her age. but she's down to clown. Also, 

Lily: Jake kind of has some game. In this interaction, maybe just by comparison because Nog is absolutely biffing it, but like, Jake's kind of, he seems almost suave in comparison. 

Cole: [00:34:00] Listeners, here's a tip from Cole and Lily. If you want to go out and pick up, bring your most awkward friend with you. You always look better by comparison. . 

Lily: Don't read the game. Listen to this podcast instead. 

Cole: Jake also pops his feet up on the table like he did before, talking about Bajoran women. he's such a man. 

Lily: he's got game. 

Cole: so, Night has fallen down in the village on Bajor, and it is time for the Tolkien monster, Dalrok, to arrive. 

Lily: And Ian McKellen's big speech. 

Cole: He shall not pass. That's exactly what this is. Oh, there's literally Nothing new under the Bajoran sun. So Gandalf gets out of bed. Okay, 

Lily: may I do this next part as a theatrical reading? 

Cole: I would love you to. do you set it up? Can you set up 

Lily: the scene? 

Cole: So Gandalf gets out of bed and he's led to the top of some little ledge by Creepy Hovath, his assistant. Bashir's like, I don't think this is a good idea. But, the Dalrok wakes, and [00:35:00] what happens next, Lily? 

Lily: Here we go. In the shadow of the night, he hungers. With the hatred of the ancients, he rages. From the twisted pit of chaos, he approaches. 

Cole: as Gandalf is saying this beautiful story, this like cloud is over the city. the people in the crowd like, rabble rousing and He's like winding up their cranks 

Lily: The Dalrok's anger is like a wave crashing down upon the village. The weight of its fury threatens to crush us all. The Dalrok thinks the village is powerless to defend itself. But the Dalrok is mistaken. The village is strong, much stronger than the Dalrok can ever imagine. 

Cole: And so they're all yelling. And I guess they're yelling. creates some sort of light that emanates and shines forth and hits the monster. 

Lily: With our strength, with our unity, we shall drive the [00:36:00] Dalrok! 

Cole: But, uh, the Syrah the Syrah clutches at his heart and collapses mid speech. And that's when the terrifying Delrock cloud starts shooting some rays, attacking the village.

Extras are hurtled from a bridge in a shot that looks like it completely broke the budget on this episode. 

 and O'Brien really sums it up best. He just says, bloody hell. 

Lily: Yeah, it's great. He's quite a storyteller in his own way, but more on that later. 

Cole: But chaos is raining. Crazy light beams are being shot down from the cloud. that's when the Syrah is like, bring me who the prophet sent and lugs O'Brien up on stage. O'Brien's like, I think you got the wrong guy, but the Syrah forces O'Brien to repeat after him. And he continues telling this beautiful poetic story. 

Lily: the village shall not be destroyed. Despite our fears, we shall stand our ground and face the Dalrok. 

Cole: And guess what? the rabble aroused again, and they start shaking their fists again. And they start shooting those lasers [00:37:00] back to the scary cloud. 

Lily: The village is strong, more powerful than the Dalrok.

Together, we use that power to drive it away. 

Cole: And the cloud is defeated. 

Lily: The Dalrok is defeated. The village is safe. I 

Cole: need to, I need to take a moment. 

Lily: It's powerful stuff. 

he's shaking. But you know, a good story, 

Cole: a good story is nothing if it's not told right, Lily, and you told it Beautifully. 

Lily: Thank you.

The answer to the question is I am the storyteller. 

T'was I, the Raven.

Cole: so 

All hail the storyteller, 

Lily: The Syrah, the new Syrah. 

Cole: The new Syrah! And, someone throws the beautiful robe around O'Brien's shoulders and he is the new, uh, power in town, right?

He's 

Lily: the Syrah, and if there's one thing I love, it's a robe. 

Cole: This is probably , this moment was ripped right out of that, uh, Kipling story, like this outsider who really has no idea what's [00:38:00] going on. Just getting the mantle of authority and power 

Lily: thrust upon him. Yeah. O'Brien really didn't choose it though.

Cole: That's the big difference. He really didn't 

Lily: at all. Like, if it happened to Julian, I'd be like, yeah, he kind of wanted it, 

Cole: Definitely. yeah. 

Lily: O'Brien, he is the reluctant hero. 

Cole: Poor O'Brien. It's just looking nonplussed in one of the definitions of that word. I'm not sure I used it right. 

Lily: And you know what?

Red is not his color. 

Cole: No, he's really not meant to be the storyteller. Well, back on the station, Quark is telling a hilarious joke to Morn I sold them a whole herd of Klingon Morn is 

Lily: laughing. It's great. 

Cole: Yeah. he just grunts ever slightly with approval. Kira are comes in.

looking rough, asking for a double Stardrifter, um, which does look just toxic. 

Lily: It looks like green cordial. Straight green cordial. 

Cole: she's getting pretty stressed because these negotiations, they ain't going well. No. which is why Sisko invites Variss [00:39:00] Sol, the Tetrarch, up to speak in his office.

He's hoping he can encourage her to maybe soften her resolve a little bit, because she has thus far been very stubborn about ceding any land to the Nevaat. 

Lily: And it's an interesting power dynamic, this scene. 

Cole: It isn't it? They're definitely, jockeying for power, He says, look, if you'd rather fight than talk, we're just wasting our time.

These are supposed to be negotiations. We're supposed to be compromising. She's like, look, I'm going to fight for what's mine. I have to stand for, my father's land. and Sisko's just like, well, okay, you're ready to fight, but are you sure your people are ready to die for that 

Lily: land?

But it's a pretty good scene after we've just seen, O'Brien have the mantle thrust upon him when he didn't know and he wasn't ready and this young woman has had this happen too because her parents have died. 

Cole: Oh, that's a great link. Thank you. And she's, really intent on being that tough, uncompromising ruler.

yeah, she's also had this power thrust on her. And she's decided that the way to do it is just to fake it till you make [00:40:00] it with an iron fist. and she storms off from Sisko because, I think, I mean, , it's a power play, right? She's convinced that leadership is just, showing power.

Lily: But I also think, The Sisko's perspective is, well, he's, from Starfleet, so it's a, a colonialist outpost. he's an older man. he's the mediator, but he's kind of putting some pressure on her. He's not taking the other guy aside and saying, actually, maybe you should just let them have the land.

You know, it's, it's an interesting dynamic that's playing out because He has a lot more power in, in certain ways than she does. And maybe, maybe it 

Cole: is a little condescending. She's been completely unwilling to compromise. 

Lily: But also, she is like a 13, 14 year old person, so, And is he being condescending 

Cole: to this little girl who he wasn't expecting to be at the conference table?

I 

Lily: think slightly, I think in this scene, he is a little bit, sort of chastising her. Yeah. 

I think 

Lily: second saying between them is slightly different. 

Cole: Yeah, Well, Jake and Nog are. looking [00:41:00] all over the station for Varys.

They're getting in this really immature squabble about who's got more claim to her. looks like I found her first. but then they find her sitting at their spot on the balcony, a little spot on the balcony. she's sitting there looking quite dejected, staring into space. 

Lily: Look at the outfit. 

Cole: Look at that. Gorgeous outfit. 

Lily: Yeah, 

so it's aqua. It's got a strong sort of black pattern as well, and everything matches. So it's this sort of, how would you describe it? Like a peplum cut dress. And then there's matching tights underneath it with matching boots and a little matching headband.

Cole: We do love the headband. would you wear this outfit? 

Lily: Um, it's not my color, but otherwise I actually think I would. Yeah. Even the leggings? It's young for me. It's too young for me. I'm not 14. 

Cole: Right. um. It's a change 

Lily: from her sort of militant gray outfit.

She's in a more, 

Cole: youthful attire. And uh, it's telling us that she's softening up, that she's [00:42:00] maybe trying to get in touch with that emotional, maybe more youth like side of herself after putting on this, costume of iron fisted leader for too long perhaps. And I'll 

Lily: just, I'll spoil this for you.

She only wears this outfit in interactions with Jake and Nog. 

Cole: She doesn't wear it to any of the negotiations. Yeah, where she's being a kid. Yeah, it's the outfit where she's allowed to be a kid. Love it. yeah, she's looking real dejected. And when the boys ask what's wrong, she explains she's at an impasse with these negotiations.

And, this is where Nog comes in with some really useful Ferengi view on things. He says, maybe it's not a problem. Maybe it's an opportunity that presents itself. Yeah, on that later. Jake's like, well, when I have a problem, I ask my dad. she says, does it help? And then at the same time, Jake says yes and Nox says no, which is hilarious. Poor Rom. but Varys also says that her parents were killed by the Cardassians. And so she's sort of on her own here, which explains why she's, she's trying to figure out how [00:43:00] to be a leader all by herself.

No wonder she's feeling a little in over her head. but then Odo breaks things up again, no dangling on the promenade, and so they scurry off. and then what does Odo do? he gives us another creepy signature smile. 

Lily: Oh, I 

Cole: hate it. 

Lily: Saves it for the children. Please don't do that to 

Cole: the children.

It's like this thing. He smiles at the children and it looks terrifying. Odo, please stop that. 

Lily: Um, there's something quite interesting about this interaction between the three teenagers, because what they're discussing is whether adults in your life who you can trust and advise you.

Hmm. just the idea that that is a privilege for children, unfortunately, in the West. 

Cole: Massively. 

Lily: to have that. And a lot of, children don't have that. It's terrifying and sad. 

Cole: there's a lot of, Organizations in the U. S. that directly try to address that, like Big Brother, Big Sip organizations where you can just have an adult mentor to be there for you.

yeah, good call. down on, Bajor. Bashir is deeply amused at this whole turn of events, while O'Brien is just at his [00:44:00] wits end trying to get out of this, this Syrah. 

Lily: torture Miles O'Brien.

Cole: Bashir's like, well, maybe you really were sent by the prophets, and O'Brien's like, I was sent by Commander Sisko, which, hmm, ponder that, dear listener. Just ponder that. but they don't know what to do cause the Dalrok's coming back for one last night tonight and O'Brien literally has zero idea what he's supposed to do.

that's when our bro Kog arrives with his giant coterie of gift givers and well wishers it includes And concubines. And concubines. Three beautiful young women who present themselves to O'Brien. 

But O'Brien, ever the family man, declines, saying he has a wife and daughter back on DS9. That 

Lily: was awkwardly sputtering. Yeah, definitely 

Cole: that. And this is also, I mean, I don't know how much there's to make of it, but maybe the biggest difference between this and the Kipling, short story, because their, um, godlike status completely collapsed once they started trying to get in with the local women.

Whereas [00:45:00] O'Brien never wanted this title. And is rejecting these advances, maybe it's just 

Lily: the nature of it is that the kind of God that O'Brien has been crowned is a giving God.

It's a God that protects and serves rather than takes. So in the Kipling story, they come in as gods that take and serve. without remorse. Whereas, the storyteller is a protector, who seemingly doesn't seem to want anything, even though they're being offered things. So I think it's, it's the difference between demanding things and, being a good person and having things offered to you.

Cole: It's like the difference between the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New Testament. 

Lily: Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love. It's pretty cool. What I've heard it says. 

Cole: Exactly. patient and it's kind. That's what Jesus said. Sure. then poor O'Brien, he's like, I've I've got a wife and kids and Cog's like, well, then you must send for them so they can live here with you in your new life as a 

Lily: Syrah.

imagine telling Keiko that she's moving to a random village in Bajor. Hey, lots of [00:46:00] great 

Cole: plans. Yeah. Better plants than on the station. Just saying, some great foliage. 

It's this beautiful tropical village. I think O'Brien should have thought this through.

His job is literally just to wait around for a whole year and do nothing and then tell a story. 

He's like Santa Claus. 

Lily: Yeah, and concubines. and hey, 

Cole: concubines too. 

Lily: wazoo. Yeah. 

Cole: Well, O'Brien's convinced his only way out of this is to figure out what the Dalrock even is. But uh, you're gonna be able to engineer your way out of this one, O'Brien?

Lily: Yeah. 

Cole: We'll see. 

Lily: maybe not. 

Cole: and we're back on the station where a second day of talks has wrapped up still with no progress. our girl Varys is sitting in her quarters, pondering a map of that Pakunavat border.

When Jake and Nog stop by to say hey, hey girl, uh, do you want to kiss us or something? I don't know. What? What? Which one? 

Lily: Both? Same time? No? Okay. 

Cole: I don't know. , maybe like, tambien situation. Like, we could all just .

Have some, Gamzee and wine and see what happens. Um,

Lily: these are children coal, that's disgusting. 

Cole: Yeah, I'm cutting that. Uh, [00:47:00] Our girl Varis is not in the mood for hangs, but she does want to ask Nog about that opportunity thing he mentioned. How do you know when opportunity? is worth the risk.

Lily: And what is it, Lily? well, it clearly states that opportunity plus instinct equals profit. 

Cole: Instinct. so begins, I will argue, the redemption of the Ferengi on DS9, because a Ferengi Rule of Acquisition actually helps these negotiations, and Nogs got some thoughts. 

Lily: and Jake Sisko is like, just talk to your dad. Oh, he's dead. 

Cole: but it is nice because I think even you and I have discussed Nog is like a good Ferengi because he just integrates and joins Starfleet. But I think throughout the series, He's always a Ferengi and it's here like he's dropping some rules and they're you know I wish I knew more rules of acquisition in my life because I'm not a good business person.

Lily: Philosophically he's coming from a very different place and I think it helps him in his beautiful journey [00:48:00] that we love it. 

 So, , and I was like, well, let's celebrate. If my Ferengi advice helped, let's go have some fun. I've got an idea. 

Cole: I mean, brings me back. No. Who am I kidding? I never did any dumb shit to impress any girls. I was, I was an angel. 

Lily: Yeah. Maybe later you did some dumb shit. For a boy. 

Cole: well. That's just. Anyways.

Lily: Silence. Crickets. We don't need to talk about that. That's fine. 

Cole: Nog's got a little security key that he's swiped off his Uncle Quark. And what does he do? He leads him and his two little teenage miscreant friends to Odo's office. Jake and Varys aren't too sure about this idea, but Nog breaks into the office and returns moments later with Odo's bucket, 

Lily: which we've never seen before.

Such a good prank. Oh my god. 

Cole: It's amazing, right? I love it. So he's like, Oh, we stole Odo's bucket. And then he trips. And this goo [00:49:00] sloshes all over Jake, and Nox is like, No, Odo! And Jake is like, Oh my gosh, the head of security is dripping down my chest right now. 

Your favorite or Jake's favorite or both? 

Lily: Either. But it's not Odo, it's just something that sounds like Odo. 

Cole: It's Oatmeal! It's Oatmeal! in case you weren't keeping track, this is the third reference to oatmeal in the show. We're halfway through season one. They're obsessed. 

Lily: It is as American as apple pie, right? 

Cole: That, that's sad, 

Lily: just what a culture, you know? 

Cole: luckily our three teenage vandals it's hilarious and have a good little chuckle. It is 

Lily: pretty funny. 

Cole: but Odo doesn't seem to think so when he walks in on them.

Lily: Wow. 

Cole: Nog just runs for it, but he runs smack into Sisko. 

Lily: Yeah, it's like the first episode all over again. Nog [00:50:00] just running 

Cole: through the scene of the crime. Fleeing from the authorities. Yeah. Great Nog. Down in our happy Bajoran village where O'Brien is God, O'Brien and Bashir are trying to figure out what this Dalarok even is.

They're not getting very far. They're interrupted by a local mother who wants O'Brien to bless her baby. and by the way, it's a really unfortunate looking baby. I don't know if you noticed, it's a weird looking baby. I didn't 

Lily: look at the beauty of the baby, but yes, it is ugly, you're right.

Cole: Sorry to this person who played the ugly baby in 1993. Oh no, 

Lily: don't come at us, like if you're an ugly baby just admit it, you're probably a fine looking person now. 

Cole: Ugly duckling syndrome, it happens to the best of us. Anyways, like a whole crowd of followers starts chasing O'Brien around.

He has to practically flee to escape them, and then the camera pans to Hovath, who's sulking in the corner. Hovath, the sketchy, creepy assistant, Hovath is skulking and sulking around and goes in to watch O'Brien in the [00:51:00] Syrah's house. he explains that he was, uh, the Syrah's apprentice, O'Brien's like, well, maybe you can like help me out because don't want it. but how bitter is Hovath? Out of the corner of O'Brien's eye in the mirror, O'Brien catches Hovath lunging at him with a knife. a very cool knife, if I might add. prop watch. I don't know if you caught it, but it's like two pronged.

Why is it, why is it two pronged? 

Lily: Ah, look, these are the questions. you miss the part where O'Brien is like looking for answers, so he just goes through the old Syrah's, um, collection of sweet crystals and trinkets.

It's like an old nana's house who was kind of into witchcraft. it's amazing. I love it. I would live there. 

Cole: I do. You know, the set design is great in this episode. a beautiful little village that I want to visit. like it helps when the set 

Lily: design isn't trash, yeah. 

Cole: I think the knife is to open some fruit. I think it's like a special Bajoran fruit knife, but anyways, that's irrelevant. 

Lily: No, I'll be thinking 

Cole: about that. Yeah. [00:52:00] O'Brien is tussling. Yeah, it's to eat larish pie, 

yeah. So, O'Brien is Thrust Hovath him when Bashir comes in, and then the three of them get into the most pathetic three way tussle you've ever seen. 

Lily: But Julian jumps right in to help, so I guess this is friends on, forever, 

Cole: sadly. Yeah. Is this how it started? 

Lily: This is the moment. 

 So they finally hurl off, and that's when Hovath says that he is the true Syrah, not O'Brien.

Cole: Turns out that he had been apprenticing under the elder Gandalf Syrah for nine years, learning all the secrets of the storyteller, only for O'Brien to swoop in and steal his job, 

Lily: Bloody, bloody immigrants, sorry. Wow. 

anti Irish sentiment right here on the podcast. 

Cole: Um, turns out, three nights ago, on the first day of the Dalroch, Hovath was given the chance to step up and show off his storytelling skills, but he choked and he couldn't control the Dalrak and villagers got injured.

also we get a little backstory on this Dalrak. [00:53:00] Years ago, this village was divided by hate and mistrust, and the first Syrahh needed to unite the village somehow lest it destroy itself. So he used a little orb. to give their fears a physical form. And so it turns out, big reveal, it's the villagers thoughts that create this delroch.

And this is a secret that's been passed from Syrah to Syrah. And then the Syrah tells this story to motivate them to work together to defeat it. Yeah. And this is why I say the Syrah is Fox News. Because he's like, hmm, let me invent some complete bogus fears. 

And you'll rally around your local leaders. 

Cole: and together with our unity, we will be stronger. 

Lily: it's, 

Cole: it's tale as old as time. 

Lily: I guess it is, but it's doing something productive. Like I said, I feel like it doesn't actually harm anyone. No one's being harmed by this situation, except, I suppose, maybe people that want to leave the village?

Yeah, you're also making 

Cole: the villagers, [00:54:00] like, terrified. 

There was actually this crazy study at Yale. That's been duplicated since then. Where before being asked to summarize their political opinions. They are prompted to first, just imagine being completely safe. And after imagining safety. Their opinions were actually more liberal and vice versa. Just thinking about scary stories, pushed them to feel more conservative. And these villagers spend a year. Building up their most primal fears. in anticipation of the Dell rock. What's that going to do to their collective psyche. 

Lily: But they trust the Syrah. 

Cole: Yeah, and he's lying to them. He's not telling them that, a Syrah invented this thing. He's pulling the wool over the eyes of the entire village. but Sometimes villages do get hurt if they're not like rabble rousing enough.

 the greater 

Lily: good, huh? 

Cole: Unity and strength, fascist allegiance. 

Lily: Yeah, so is the Syrah the monster? 

Cole: whoa, you just blew my mind. I have had a little Syrah, I'll give you [00:55:00] that, but you just blew my mind. Okay. Thanks. Thanks, girl.

Lily: That's really smart, Lily, but I am drunk. Classic. 

Cole: I you're a genius. so I mean, O'Brien is thrilled to learn this and to learn that Hovath wants to be the storyteller. but then frigging Cog with his latex gets wind of it and refuses to let Hovath. tell a story again. He's like, you had your chance and you failed.

You will not endanger the village a second time. sorry, O'Brien, you can't, uh, weasel your way out of this. 

Lily: Put that robe back on. 

Cole: Yeah, Fox and Friends is almost on. Go get mic'd up. Go put your robe on. You got work to do. 

Lily: You are Gandalf. Do it! 

Cole: The Dalrok shall not pass. Back in Sisko's office, we've got this second meeting between Varys Sul and she takes full responsibility for the incident with Odo's bucket and the oatmeal. but Sisko says, you know, Jake should have known better. Varys is like, didn't you ever do anything foolish to impress a [00:56:00] girl? 

And it's crickets 

Lily: just like that moment before with Cole that he now has to keep 

Cole: in.

Boys will be boys. 

says, Jake's a nice boy, so is Nog, in his own way. 

Lily: In his own way. But it's true. I get what she means. No, I get what she means. 

Cole: Well, she confesses to Sisko that she was motivated to spend time with these guys to learn about him, Sisko, the guy who's running these negotiations.

Jake looks up to him and trusts him. And she, gets a little vulnerable. She's like, look, I try to be strong the way my father was strong, but it's difficult. And Sisko says, maybe her dad would risk giving the Neva'at the land they want, which makes Varis think of that.

Opportunity way of thinking of things. 

Lily: Hmm. Yeah. 

But there's something you missed that I think is quite important where she, 

Cole: please, 

Lily: She basically outlines the difference between leading as a man and as a young woman. so as a man, her father could lead in a particular way, but her father also had the [00:57:00] freedom to do things like risk saying yes.

But as a young woman, she doesn't feel like she can make concessions because. It looks like weakness to other men. So she's, I mean, it's quite astute that this is a possibility and I think she says, , what's the other Tetrarch's name? 

Cole: leader of larish 

Lily: eating one.

if she immediately gave him a concession and gave him what he wanted. He would view that as weakness and potentially like take more territory from them. you know, her idea that you don't lose by saying no and Sisko is like, well, a great leader is willing to risk things by saying yes.

Well, she can't take the same risks that a man can. She's in a different position, so she actually has to find a clever workaround that perhaps a man wouldn't have to. 

Cole: That is, uh Thanks to a Ferengi. Thanks, Nog! there some irony that truly the most sexist species in the whole galaxy helps this Poor leader overcome the sexism and the negotiations?

Yes. 

Lily: that's a very [00:58:00] smart call, but again, I am drunk. 

Cole: Touche. I'll be honest. thank you. I think I actually missed a lot of the, sexism and the ageism that she's facing as a leader, because I was just brushing it all with like, ah, discovering the challenges of being a leader, but it's actually the challenges of being a leader.

As 

Lily: Judy Dench says in Shakespeare in Love. I know something of being a woman in a man's job. 

Cole: Yes. Oh, what a great piece of literature that film is. 

Lily: It's very fun. We should do that. Do want that? How much crossover is there between people that watch Star Trek and have seen Shakespeare in Love and also want to hear us talk about that?

Cole: I would wager tons. Well, it is the fifth night down in the village, poor O'Brien is looking real uncomfortable in these Syrah's robes. Lily's already pointed out it's not his color but he's you Propelled forth by the crowd up to the platform, Bashir's just there telling O'Brien good luck with a smirk.

He's eating [00:59:00] this up. If he can't be Syrah, he's going to make fun of O'Brien, biffing it. 

Lily: But also, this is like the first time he's not the butt of the joke in a scenario. he's like, Oh my God, is this what it's like for other people when I'm doing something dumb? 

Cole: Is everyone just laughing at He's gone through a whole introspective journey here. Yeah. So it's O'Brien's time to shine, as this cloud, Dalrock, gathers on the horizon, and um, Lily, would you like to evaluate his performance as a 

Lily: storyteller? look, there's definitely some stage fright happening. 

Yeah, it goes something like this. 

Cole: Um, a upon a time, there was a Dalrock. The Dalrock is 

And the dowel rock lived in the woods and it hated the village. so the Dell rock is here and it's hungry. 

Cole: gonna 

But the village is going to fight with those shimmering lights. You know what I'm talking about? The shimmering lights. 

Cole: stop laughing, 

So let's, uh, let's really focus. 

Cole: stop laughing, 

It's like if, if your [01:00:00] dad has to be the substitute coach of your t ball team. 

Lily: Oh, the worst motivational speech you've ever heard. 

Cole: bless, . 

Lily: I think we can surmise that Miles O'Brien is not the storyteller. 

Cole: If we're ruling out people skills, I think we can rule out a O'Brien as a storyteller. and it just, it goes horribly. Lightning bolts start raining down on the village, poor villagers flee in terror.

that's when Bashir throws out a wild suggestion to our bro Hovath. He's like, yo, what if the Syrah named O'Brien his successor, knowing he'd be as terrible as he is, and then you would have to come into the rescue and you'd get your little redemption moment. 

Lily: Yeah. 

Cole: And 

Lily: not only is this redemption for old Christian Slater, stripy orange vest guy, the redemption arc for Julian Bashir because he is, acting with emotional intelligence and insight.

He is finally looking outside of himself to the social dynamics and what's happening outside of [01:01:00] him. Redemption. 

Cole: Prophets be blessed. Praise 

Lily: be. 

Cole: They knew who needed the prophet's help. Wow, I love that. this is the Redemption of Bashir right here. No wonder O'Brien finally starts coming around to the guy.

Boom. Yeah. so Hovath gets his main character moment, doesn't choke this time, tells the story right, it's. he's a lot punchier with his tweets than O'Brien, if we're taking this uh He's 

Lily: got, he's got some riz. Yeah. I mean, anyone's got more riz than O'Brien on stage. 

Cole: Poor O'Brien.

Bloody hell. Poor O'Brien. . 

And man, even Cog is convinced that this is the real storyteller. And, as the Dalrok recedes in shame, Hovath knows that his life is about to get real great. Yes, it is. hmm. Lots of nice concubines in the pipeline for that gentleman. 

All right. 

Lily: I was hoping that Miles O'Brien kept some of the gifts.

Cole: But he's too

I think he's too weirded out by the whole situation. Like, Bashir would be like, what a fascinating cultural experience. O'Brien would be like, that was a [01:02:00] nightmare. and that was a backwards people 

Lily: but he's like, but that was pretty sweet. The way I saw that knife come out of nowhere and stopped it. 

Cole: He definitely tells that story. And he leaves out the part about the shooter coming to his rescue. He's like, and I threw him off all by myself. Maybe O'Brien is the storyteller. 

Lily: We'll see. Time will tell.

but, 

these two interlopers 

Cole: Flee before the locals change their minds and head back to the runabout. back on the promenade in the station, our girl Vera is ready to let the Navat keep their land in exchange for free trade access to both sides of the river.

A very reasonable compromise. Sisko says, admirably. Jake, Jake and No are on hand to wish her luck in the final round of talks. Varys leans in to kiss Nog on the cheek. it gave me a very, , Galadriel kissing, who's the dwarf in Lord of the Rings? 

Lily: Gimli. 

Cole: It's very Galadriel kissing Gimli. Like, you'll get this one kiss.

yeah, moment of the episode, Sisko pushes Jake out of the way [01:03:00] with a finger before he even gets a chance. With his finger! To get a And then Odo swoops in to whisk them off to scrub his office clean, as he should.

Get that 

Lily: oatmeal out of my shit, clean my bucket. 

Cole: 

And meanwhile, O'Brien and Bashir have returned one piece. O'Brien says he's had his fill of storytelling for the time being.

But Bashir, just like I said, is ready to tell the story to anyone who will listen. sure there will be embellishments about his role in the heroics. Julien says, Oh, but one more thing. On second thought, O'Brien, you really don't have to call me Julien. 

Lily: Yeah. 

Cole: that about? I thought that was kind of a weird note to end on, because then the credits roll.

Um. So It's like, actually, we're not friends. 

Lily: No, no, no. think you were right. in your initial reading of him asking O'Brien to call him Julian as like a weird power play and a weird kind of like forcing of intimacy. Whereas Julian's finally put his head out of his own butt and has seen the world around him and that people have all kinds of thoughts and [01:04:00] ideas and, you know, interior, lives that are happening.

and he's now realized that. O'Brien can't be forced into being his friend, he has to come to it himself. 

Cole: so yeah, so 

Lily: back to, right you are, sir. 

Cole: Okay, you're right. Right you are, sir. And the two Walk away from each other happily. 

Lily: And a genuine smile from O'Brien. 

Cole: Ah, how will this relationship blossom?

Lily: Heralding the lamest friendship of this series. 

Cole: the people, they love it, Lily, don't knock, uh, one of the most beloved relationships of Star Trek. 

Lily: What can I say? I'm a crow slash raven. 

Cole: You're a Garak. You're a Garak and you're resentful. am. 

 Um, great episode. I loved it. It was fun. there was humor, there were stakes, outfits, diplomacy, Philosophy, props. 

Cole: Great props. So many [01:05:00] Bajorans, but we didn't even mind.

Lily: Liked it. Ugh. 

Cole: Yes. Okay, should I try to answer your two questions? 

Lily: Yeah, go for it. 

Cole: Okay, question one is, 

Lily: Who is the monster? 

Cole: Okay, so was Bashir, but now he's starting to reform. Um, original Syrah, who's like, Look out everyone, there's this boogeyman who's gonna , destroy you, I don't know, I'm not about making monsters.

I don't think mortals should dabble in the work of the gods. 

Lily: Interesting. I mean, maybe the real monster is, our natural distrust of other people. So The reason it was created in the beginning, I assume, is because, of the friction within the community, the small community, which is, I guess, a bit isolated, and in order for that community to work, it needed to band together, so the monster For the Syrah, the original Syrah was, yeah, the community's distrust of each other and this inability to cohere.

But I think you're right, I think that is very conservative values. although it's something to [01:06:00] aspire to, it is good to work together, to, And 

Cole: I'm naturally, I'm naturally suspicious of group think and, closed mindedness, but you're also right that a little cooperation and unity and fellowship goes a long way in terms of community building.

So these things are all important in moderation and we don't know how bad it was in this village. Were they all about to kill each other? There's something about bonding together over a common enemy. Yeah, that's great. And 

Lily: It's why gossip is so fun.

Cole: oh my gosh, oh man, like how many times have you bonded with co workers over complaining about the evil boss?

Yeah, 

Lily: you can have nothing in common with someone and gossiping about someone you need is mean is life changing. 

Cole: And if you can, if you're actually not hurting anyone, like if you can invent. The subject of gossip, or maybe even gossiping about the Kardashians, like they're not hurt by us gossiping about them, right?

Well, maybe they are. 

Lily: Yeah, not to be confused with the 

Cole: Okay. And the, first question. And who is the [01:07:00] storyteller? 

Lily: Who is the storyteller? 

Let me throw out some names. 

Cole: Okay. 

Lily: Bashir? 

Cole: No. 

Lily: Jake? 

Cole: No. Sisko? No. Nog? No. Yes. I think Nog changes the narrative from problem to solution and teaches us that we are all our own storytellers and we are truly responsible for how we all tell our own stories.

And if we choose to see ourselves as the hero, As the main character, as the leader, that is the story that we are in. It's up to us 

Lily: how 

Cole: we tell our story. 

Lily: Cut to Season 7, the development of Nog's character. 

Cole: yes. He's the main character in his story. 

Lily: so Nog. Uh, anyone else? 

Cole: Um, I guess the Syrah, he tells this story of Hoboth's redemption. He sort of engineers this thing to be like, we're all imperfect, but we all deserve second chances. And then he he orchestrates the second chance. And so he actually is telling the story of Hoboth's rise to [01:08:00] wearing the robes.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm 

Lily: It's an interesting one. 

Cole: Is the, the writer of this episode the storyteller?

Lily: Yeah, the one who wrote this episode and had it denied for three years and kept trotting it out, trying to use it. And everyone's like, Crap story. and then here we are all these years later. 

Cole: Do we need to tap into monster theory again? almost textbook monster as a metaphor because the Syrah actually made A monster to be a metaphor. 

Lily: I know it's, it's literally manufactured 

Cole: in the episode. mean, this is a story about storytelling.

and I think ultimately, going back to Nog, I think we all choose to tell our own stories. I mean, Syrah invented the story. Why can't we, cast ourselves in the roles we want to be cast in? 

Lily: then we find out. that this was all just a holodeck novel written by That's my brain [01:09:00] exploding.

Cole: We did it. 

Lily: We did it. We bloody well did it. 

Cole: Um, I want to give a prop watch. Prop watch. Shout out to the fruit knife that almost became a murder weapon. I think that's my favorite. 

Lily: The larrish eater. Yeah. 

Cole: But also, Odo's bucket, we love that thing. 

Lily: Classic. That thing is a classic bit of ephemera and it makes more appearances and I'm grateful for every single one of them.

Cole: If I got you an Odo bucket for Christmas, would you like put a pot plant in it or something? 

Lily: Yes, but I feel like have to make oatmeal in it. Yeah. If it's seconds, something I can actually cook in. Oh my gosh. Would I do that for you? 

Cole: All right. me see what I can do. 

Lily: Crop watch. Um, fashion watch. 

Cole: Fashion. Um, there's 

Lily: so many contenders, 

is a fashion win. 

Cole: win. With 

Lily: The fashion watch. so the contenders for me are What's his name? Cog. 

Cole: Yeah. [01:10:00] latex Cog. 

Lily: It's just an insane thing for the head of state to be wearing and I love it. ? robe, iconic looks terrible on O'Brien 'cause he's an autumn, but very good on Christian's later.

Lookalike . 

cause he's a winter. , 

Cole: I thought christian Slater's general fiery vest. 

Lily: It's like the 

Cole: torment inside him is sort of displayed on his vest. It is. 

Lily: It is. Yeah, probably should have gone into that more, but no time now. I loved her little, playtime outfit. It's like in the sound of music when Julie Andrews is like, they need clothes to play in. so she has that.

That's exactly what that was. Yeah, it was. Thank you. 

Cole: All right, I think that has to be the winner. Varys's play clothes. 

Lily: It was pretty good, but I actually think combo prop makeup outfit has got to be those knockoff Star Wars characters. Like that probably blew the budget a whole bunch. 

Cole: Completely. Oh, that was such an amazing look.

Star Trek very [01:11:00] rarely goes to that level of just awesome aliens. 

Lily: Five seconds of air time. Brilliant. Just to 

Cole: a rock thrown at them. So good. That was their destiny in this episode. 

Lily: They, 

Cole: right, we got, prop watch, check. Fashion Watch Czech. Great sets this episode, I thought. I had a great time down on tropical, conservative, populist, village. Yeah, it's like Florida. Exactly. 

Lily: So, who is the monster inside of you, Cole?

Cole: Um, 

Lily: can I tell you mine? 

Cole: Please. 

Lily: It's the raven. 

Cole: But I thought you are the raven. What do you mean? Now you're the monster inside yourself? 

Lily: I'm not always the raven, Cole. I'm a good person.

I never, I never called you 

Cole: the raven. You called yourself a raven! 

Lily: and then cut to Cole's face photoshopped on top of a giant penguin, like Godzilla coming in. 

Cole: Waddling happily. Crashing 

Lily: through everything. 

 [01:12:00] 

Lily: It was a great icebreaker. I think it really brought us closer 

Cole: together. 

Lily: Me too. It it created some division as well. we need a Dalrock. Who's on DALROC? That's the real 

Cole: question. 

Lily: Um, 

Cole: the other Star Trek podcasts out there. 

Lily: Uh, yeah. And I'd also, like to.

Raise, a suggestion, Tom Paris Mindow Rock.

Cole: Fuck that guy.

Cole: If only we could have gotten rid of him just by yelling and shaking our fists for a few minutes. And yet we were stuck with him for seven long years. 

Lily: We could try still, I don't know. Curse 

Cole: you, Tom Paris. 

Lily: The village is stronger than you.

Cole: Anything else to say about this surprisingly delightful little 

like 

Lily: romp?

season one, it keeps on giving, and I hope you all know that. People [01:13:00] that listen to this podcast, season one of this TV show is great, and some of them are stinkers, but then you get these gems. 

Cole: If you're listening to the end of this episode about a season one episode, you should know that season one is worth paying attention to.

Lily: Please do it. Just do it. 

Cole: You won't regret it. You're only letting yourself down. 

 We better wrap this up then on that note. , 

Lily: I have 

Cole: a soft spot in my heart for next week's episode, so I'm looking forward to it 

Lily: Aww. I like that soft spot in your heart. It's penguin shaped.

Cole: No, I'm going to defend progress next week. I'm going to defend it hard. 

Lily: Stay tuned, everyone. 

Cole: Yep. 

Lily: I'm excited. 

Cole: Great. 

it's been lovely as always, Lily, and, uh, I'm going to finish my Syrah and, sign off. [01:14:00] >